Not that I would have the energy (and I am not convinced my memory would serve me well enough either).
For some odd reason I was pondering the men I find attractive. No idea why - maybe tis just spring and a Sulky's thoughts turn to lurve.... now there's an alarming thought to put you right off your tea.
My ex, to put it mildly, was a twat. A totally useless waste of space and put me completely off relationships for a long time.
I love my independence too much to see me EVER wanting to live with someone again - plus I love having the entire bed to myself!
I have very little self confidence looks wise and the thought of getting buck nekkid with anyone - noooooo thank you matey. There's a limit to how long I can breathe in without passing out.
The man I find truly appealing is - go on, have a guess.
A short arse. Skinny. ANCIENT. Dreadful glasses. Even worse taste in floral shirts and too tight jeans. Huge nose. Yes indeedy the rock god of F1 himself, Eddie Jordan. I know I know and I hang my head in shame, I just can't help it.
Eddie Jordan is 103 and has a penchant for busty blondes. He is approximately 4ft 3inches tall and likes to rest his greying head in their cleavage. He is a stroppy, gnomic bloke but yes, I would ;-)
And it's downhill all the way from there.
As my dear chum Rebsy put it, I like a classy poof.
The poof proof?
David Starkey. The man is an utter genius. Another unknown and uninteresting fact about me is my deep love of the British monarchy - not this silly current crowd but those many moons ago. I LOVE my mate Dave's books (he says it's fine for me to call him Dave, truly he does) and he would be top of my imaginary dinner party list. Intelligent, funny, bonkers mad. Mr Starkey you are a star.
And the list goes on:
Mr Slater, you are lovely too. Get your pinny, you've pulled, Then go in the kitchen and cater to my strange dietary needs please, with your mysteriously vanishing upper lip and your unruly hair.
It gets worse, much much worse.
I think it;s a good job I am single and look set to remain that way forever and a day. One day I might inflict some of the most secret and scary lusts of my life on you.
You have been warned .....