Hellooooo!

Well. This time I lost even more days to the tablets of doom, but never mind - I think this is just how it's going to be at the moment and a necessary evil.

Skip this bit if bored by the health stuff.

Fridays have become 'feeling increasingly queasy and burping a lot' days.
Methotrexate is taken on Friday evening with tea - I had to up the dose this time so expected it to be a bit iffy.
Saturday and Sunday - absolutely exhausted, real 'cannot lift my limbs off the settee' sort of tiredness, with swaying, dizziness, woozy etc - very much like those first few days when recovering from the flu when your legs feel like Bambi on ice. Headachey, sweating cobs (nice eh), very hot. I tend to sip plenty of water, chew mints to keep the nausea at bay, do a lot of dozing on the settee etc.
Monday - a bit better, less dizzy, less queasy and a bit more human. Hurrah!
Then Tuesday - back to feeling queasy, burpy and upset tum.

So it looks like Wednesdays and Thursdays are OK!! Better than nuffink.
How the hell anyone who is on this stuff manages to keep working / coping with a young family etc I don't really know, At least I only have little me to look after when I feel shite.

Ah - Saturday was my birthday, which was a tad bizarre. Last year was a miserable old birthday (interview from hell and the hotel from an even hellier hell) - this year wasn't miserable, just very laid back (laid back as in almost comatose).

BUT thanks to the kindness of friends I had more gifts than I have had since I was a child. Utterly brilliant - don't get me wrong, I am not greedy at all and am perfectly happy with the usual hand made card from Kerri and some flowers and cake from my lovely mum, but blimey, this was a fabulous birthday treat!

Best thing about this?

The amount of hand made items.

And the amount of pink!

I need to take better piccies of individual things and explain them, as this one pic doesn't even begin to do justice to the work that has gone into them. I am deeply touched by the kindness, generosity and downright madness of my friends.

If you look closely there is a rather sweet little friend for Daphne ... tentatively named Lizzy at the moment.

And nom noms for PSidney!

Despite the medical madness I have managed to finish Sheer, from the latest Kim Hargreaves book.

Not totally convinced I like it - or that I don't look a total prat in it ...

It's a long line, tunic sort of jumper, with a wide scooped neckline which is very low at the front / back (depending on how you choose to wear it). Nicely shaped, and my favourite part are the sleeves which are very floofy voluminous gathered into deep cuffs, very flattering and theatrical.

Hmmmmm.

The cotton was splitty and it does show - I HATE IT when my knitting looks messy. Grrrrr.

Oi! It's not THAT scruffy, I lightened the photo to show the detail - honestly!

That's a lot of stocking stitch in splitty cotton, a heck of a lot.

It fits pretty much perfectly, but the mental image I had of me in it and the reality are poles apart. I think the sad truth is that I am too old and fat to show much bare flesh and tattoos. I bought some floaty silky trousers today, it might work with those and over a black vest top (I like it with the deeper scoop at the back). I am going to slam it in the wash to soften it up a bit and see how that goes - either way I am thrilled that my poor hands managed a jumpers worth of knitting, and that it cost around a tenner ;-)

This has been started but it's tough going on both handies and eyesies - I love cross stitch and have several kicking about that I really should frame one day. Lillies, stargazers, are my very favourite flowers and I hope I get my derriere into gear enough to get this done.

Can you tell I am trying to fill my days with crafty goodness? Wait til you see what I treated myself to with my birthday dosh! It was expensive but I think worth it - hopefully it will be here in a few days time. Very possibly not the sort of thing you might have though I would like - wait and see.

A version of this is on my list of things to make - avert your eyes NOW if easily offended:

There, you can look again.

Just don't scroll up.

And I would love something like this, with loads of different birdies perching on it across the living room wall.

Birdies are lovely - I am also planning to start knitting a birdhouse for the wall. I blame the tablets ....

First though are some more crochet thingies for the bag I am working on - thank you for the link to neater joining, the one I did last night is certainly better.

And finally - once again I was sitting half watching some new police drama nonsense on the telly the other night, when I did a double take.

Yes, my mate Dave was on it. Playing - surprise of surprises - a policeman!

He says there is more pencil chewing in the background to come so I will have to stick with it - Dave's a wonderful bloke but by hell he has a knack for odd tv roles (let's just not mention Hollyoaks).

That's it for now - toodles!



Checking in.

Are you all behaving? No? Excellent!

So much for aiming to post something every day, that fell by the wayside rather quickly.
Have had a struggle with the tablets - am a bit miffed at losing THREE days to them recently. The Friday when I can't take the folic acid (which is to help with the nausea caused by the other tablets) was a day of many burps and deep breaths - I wondered if I was going to vomit on the good folk of Leeds City Centre as I pottered about but thanks to air, mints and determination I managed to avoid that humiliation.
It didn't ease at all, Saturday was pretty rough and Sunday was even worse! (I take the Methotrexate on Friday evenings ).

Then the joys of blood tests on Monday (I now go for them every 2 weeks) and PHYSIO on Tuesday - bloody hell, I haven't had this much of a social life for ages.
Physio was not fun - when someone tells you to 'stop flinching!' when they are trying to lift your kneecap up and wiggle it about - YOU ARE LIFTING MY KNEECAP UP, YOU MAD WOMAN! OF COURSE I AM SODDING WELL FLINCHING!
Wrong, on so many levels, just WRONG!

She was very nice, about 13, but by hell I have suffered since. BOTH bloody knees hurt now!
The only bonus was being told my knees are swollen - here's me thinking they were just chubby ....
Anyway.
It seems Thursday is a half decent day each week. Wooppeee.

I might be living up to my name soon at this rate, a sulkycat.

Hmmmm....

I am continuing to battle the crochet. My nan taught me even before I learnt to knit, and I am lucky enough to have a set of her hooks (my sister has the others, she crochets a lot). I can crochet when my hands are too sore / swollen to knit, most of the time - otherwise I think I would be barking at the moon by now.

Swollen handypandies:

Poor things.

I usually avoid cotton like the plague, but I am managing really well with Rowan Handknit Cotton, not well in terms of quality of my crochet you understand, but in terms of it being softer than I expected.

I have now made several of these

in pinks and green. I like them, I can't quite fathom out how to avoid the weirdness at the top, where the join is. I have bag making plans afoot. There are 6 of these so far, then of course I got bored.

I also decided to make a good friend an apple jacket (long story involving Kelmscott and swear words) - I learned that if one skims a pattern when they have never ever tried anything like it before, whilst watching the Grand Prix, STRANGE THINGS HAPPEN.

Tis like no apple jacket ever seen before ... (I increased on many rows that did NOT need increases). Twit.
The new and improved, ie not as increasy one has been received and I think the lovely Apples is still talking to me ;-)

What else.
Ah, other knitting - the pressie has been received so I can post piccies now - it's a Debi Birkin pattern, Tabitha Cat and I LOVED making it.
Tisn't purrrrfect but I like it.

How can anyone not like something that starts its life as this!

And to end with (for now) - does anyone else think this is just WRONG???

Wrong wrong wrong!!

Today I will mostly be - asleep

I had a tough night last night.
To try to avoid too many details let's say I was in agony, thought I was going to have to ring an ambulance by 1.30am when I (literally) collapsed in the bathroom.

If there was any justice in the world the amount of time I spent on the loo should have resulted in me being a svelte size 10. Horrendous. And very painful.

I don't think it's a reaction to the drugs, more like something I ate (cabbage???) but I do NOT want it again!
Today has been a day of water, flat diet coke, dry gluten free crackers and tiny amounts of gluten free muesli - so far so good.

And some 'safe' knitting on Sheer (never ending stocking stitch) is going on, sloooowly oh so slowly but surely.

Highly educational post to come maybe tomorrow on vajazzles and pejazzles, betcha cannot wait!

Day 4 in the Big Brother House ...

or the Short Sulky Cottage.

It's been a strange few days. For those who have popped by for a dose of sarcasm and vitriol, move along the bus please, nothing to see here. For those popping by for knitty crafty things hang on a mo, there IS knitting to come! And for those who don't mind me babbling about my ongoing health madness then pull up a chair and make yourselves comfy.

Last Thursday was Not a Good Day. Tis official.
Jo the lovely rheumatology nurse rang - one of my blood tests was rather special.

In her words - 'above 10 is a cause for concern - it should ideally be negative.
Yours is 459.'

459!
Wowee! Well, as my sister said getting a HIGH score in tests is a good thing! WINNER!!

She went on to say I am - ahem - 'very seriously ill' and needed to go to the hospital the next day to start - ahem - 'heavy duty drugs'. Speshul, that's me.

So this is day 4 of the new regime - I think if anyone had the strength to pick me up and shake me I would rattle, I am on around 25 tablets a day! I also have to carry these at all times:

Sadly they don't do them in pink.

I also have this:

and this:

Sods law that I am now banned from having the pretty PINK ones as they interact with the Methetrexate.

Sheesh. There's a box of tablets for the ongoing day to day pain etc too.

All rather worrying but I seem to be in safe hands. Jo rang again today to check how things were, I have rheumatoid arthritis pretty much everywhere, also osteoarthritis in my right foot and toes, tendonitis in both hands, 'something going on' in my right wrist and a build up of fluid in my left knee. I am having spectacular pain in my right knee which I have to monitor. I admit to having a damned good cry on the Thursday, part shock, part pain, part being utterly pissed off with the whole thing.

The changes to my life in the last what, 18 months or so is immense. I am exhausted most of the time, the RA on top of ME and ongoing digestive issues is a bit of a swine!

But I have my limbs even if some of them are having a strop lately, nobody has died and I have a wonderful group of friends and a pretty amazing family.

Maybe that sounds trite but it's true.

When you have friends who send you - on the same day, completely independent of each other, cuddly microwave critters to warm my aches and pains (both called Claire too!)(the friends not the critters) life's not all bad.

On good days I can knit - I even dug out my very rusty crochet skills last week to try that. I have started to adjust to a much slower life - I haven't been a party animal for a while, ironically because of the pressures of work so that's not too much of an issue. I do feel quite isolated - there are things I could join I suppose but I am very aware of my unreliability as I simply do not know how I will feel from one day to another.

Hey ho.

Knitting?

Yes, some has been happening.

Erm. I appear to be able to knit toys!

I haven't dont much in the way of toy knitting since Kerri was little, and I was a bit wary that the small fiddly pieces would hurt my wrists but I found them very easy (possibly because they are so lightweight). I can't post the piccies of my favourite as it has not yet been sent to it's new home, but this is the madness Kerri requested, the lilac bunny.

Letting Daphne anywhere near it was WRONG.

Wrong way round.

Upside down.

Totem pole...

I have sewing to do, ideas galore for all sorts of things - I just need a few days where I feel motivated and able!

Oh - apparently the tablets could give me a reduced sperm count.

There's a thing ...

How are you?



Spring is sprung, the grass is riz ...

... I wonder where my love life is?

Not that I would have the energy (and I am not convinced my memory would serve me well enough either).

For some odd reason I was pondering the men I find attractive. No idea why - maybe tis just spring and a Sulky's thoughts turn to lurve.... now there's an alarming thought to put you right off your tea.

My ex, to put it mildly, was a twat. A totally useless waste of space and put me completely off relationships for a long time.
I love my independence too much to see me EVER wanting to live with someone again - plus I love having the entire bed to myself!

I have very little self confidence looks wise and the thought of getting buck nekkid with anyone - noooooo thank you matey. There's a limit to how long I can breathe in without passing out.

And then there is the little issue of the bizarre assortment of men I seem to find appealing.

Seriously, I thought it was bad when I went for skinny (nay, scrawny) tall blokes with tattoos and a slightly deranged look about them. But bloody hell, my taste is becoming more eclectic the older I get.

There's the ones I would consider 'Normal To Fancy Because They Are Gorgeous'

                                                                               Ahhh Leroy Jethro Gibbs you silver fox ...

See? Perfectly acceptable taste. Good looking, killer grins, and great telly to. What's not to like?

Then there are Those Who Are Quirkily Wonderful

Such as Rob Brydon - who wouldn't want an Uncle Bryn?

Then it gets a little surreal.

Not many of you will know - or care - that I am a huuuuge Formula 1 fan and never ever miss the Grand Prix even when it means getting up at 6am on a Sunday. I love it, have done for a very long time.

I can't even drive.

Now I know what you are thinking - it's all those superbly fit men in their tight leather getting all hot and sweaty.

Erm. In the case of one young chap sort of, but it's (again) his killer grin that I love. Seb Vettel, bless him - he's 13.

Well, not really. But he's a bairn.

The man I find truly appealing is - go on, have a guess.

A short arse. Skinny. ANCIENT. Dreadful glasses. Even worse taste in floral shirts and too tight jeans. Huge nose. Yes indeedy the rock god of F1 himself, Eddie Jordan. I know I know and I hang my head in shame, I just can't help it.

Eddie Jordan is 103 and has a penchant for busty blondes. He is approximately 4ft 3inches tall and likes to rest his greying head in their cleavage. He is a stroppy, gnomic bloke but yes, I would ;-)

And it's downhill all the way from there.

As my dear chum Rebsy put it, I like a classy poof.

The poof proof?

David Starkey. The man is an utter genius. Another unknown and uninteresting fact about me is my deep love of the British monarchy - not this silly current crowd but those many moons ago. I LOVE my mate Dave's books (he says it's fine for me to call him Dave, truly he does) and he would be top of my imaginary dinner party list. Intelligent, funny, bonkers mad. Mr Starkey you are a star.

And the list goes on:

Mr Slater, you are lovely too. Get your pinny, you've pulled, Then go in the kitchen and cater to my strange dietary needs please, with your mysteriously vanishing upper lip and your unruly hair.

It gets worse, much much worse.

I think it;s a good job I am single and look set to remain that way forever and a day. One day I might inflict some of the most secret and scary lusts of my life on you.

You have been warned .....



And there's me thinking I knew her so well!

My sister's birthday is soon (so is mine!) (45!! how the HELL did that happen? Old fart) and I asked my daughter to choose from a selection of critters for me to knit. Simple enough.

Then Kez pointed to the one in the middle - a big footed bunny wabbit - and said she would choose that if it was for her - now bearing in mind the poor girl had spent all of Sunday afternoon decorating my bathroom and then gutting the garden for me to save my poor hands how could I possibly resist?

So I dug out an assortment of lovelies - grey angora, brown bunny coloured wools, all sorts. I know she loves greys and browns.

I texted and asked which she liked the most - the reply?

PURPLE.

OK. If my 24 year old wants a poiple bunny then a poiple bunny she shall have.

So I dutifully dug out some lovely deep vibrant purples and asked which she preferred (mobile phone piccies, wonderful) - the reply?

The light purple on the end please.

LILAC!

Three guesses who has spent most of today knitting various parts of a lilac wabbit ....

PS
The arm looks like some alien phallus.
Just saying.

PPS
I was about to add a photo to liven this post up so I googled 'purple rabbit'.
Three guesses what came up .... it was like a trip to a cheap sex shop ;-)

(sulky exits blog land giggling like a twit)