No snazzy title, sorry.

Firstly, thank you for the lovely comments last week - it is reassuring to know others understand the slow life, and don't see it as being lazy etc.
Thank you.

The last few days have been ok really - the sun has shone, it is very frustrating not to have the energy to go round the park or somewhere for a walk when it is so pretty, but I can't do a damned thing about that so no use dwelling on it. My daughter says anytime, just give her a shout and she will come round and go pottering with me - I want to go and gather some fir cones, and look at the trees and their Autumn leaves.

But despite not being able to pootle about as I would like, things have been mellow - rather suitable for this time of year I think.

It is hard to be miserable with this little fatty on your knee:

He really is the most adorable little piggy I have had (and I have had several over the years). He sat on my knee for an hour or more last night, singing away to himself and nodding off. Every time I stopped stroking him he licked my hand and nudged me until I started again.

He seems to think he is a cat, he curls right round in a ball on my knee.

He LOATHES my glasses and tries to kill them - I don't know if he can see his refelction or something in them, but he tries to rive them off with his teeth, make my daughter laugh everytime he does it - good job they are just my manky 'at home' specs!
PSidney, you are a lovely little piggy.

This hydrangea has been the star of the summer, and continues to look beautiful - it is the most gorgeous shade of pink (many pinks) and has started to do that delicate skeleton leaf thing, which I think is simply beautiful.

This small plant has given me so much pleasure.
I am amazed so many things are still blooming - the pinks are onto what must be their fourth flowering. Must be the sunshine, and although there is a definite change to the air (and we have had a few downright cold nights) it's been - mostly - relatively mild.

Slow roasted tomatoes to go into a cheese and tomato flan, delicious. (My gluten free pastry was bloody awful tonight, not sure what went wrong there as it's usually edible if not tasty - thankfully the contents were much nicer!).
If you haven't bothered slow roasting a load of toms it really is worthwhile - slice them thickly, drizzle in olive oil and ideally basil  and leave them in the oven for a few hours, on a verrrry low temperature.

I don't seem to have much interest in food at the moment - by rights with that and the constant stomach upsets I should be a size 6 - but I had some very tasty new potatoes with the flan and was glad I had made the effort.

Knitting is happening - I am plodding through a cardi - well not plodding as that sounds negative and I am really enjoying this, but it is slow going. It is a Louisa Harding one I started - and almost finished - a couple of years ago, but when I wet blocked it all the black dye ran into the pink wool and I was fuming, chucked the whole thing in the bin.
It's this pattern:

Pocket Watch from the Queen of Hearts book. Mine is in black, pinks and greys (just for a change).
Piccies to come - that waist band ribbing seemed to take forever!

I am also knitting 'things' - some are pressies so piccies when they have been received, some are for what I am hoping to be a woodlandy themed Christmas (yes I said the C word, sorry) tree and decorations. I have some silly plan that we can go and steal a branch from the woods and make it look EXACLY like the expensive John Lewis ones .... hmmmmm.

OOOOOH - before I forget, I DID come up with a rather marvellous and - thought I say it myself - very impressive invention. One can tell one went to art college. Brace yerself -

Sulky's Patented Bra Dryer

Dragons' Den here I come.

That's your lot for now (I suspect the sight of my bras has finished you all off completely, sorry_ - but before I go, how utterly wondrous are these little blighters:

A better day.

Today has been pretty good. By anyone 'normal's standards it has probably been dull as ditch water, but to me, yep, pretty good.

I have seemed to slip into a lazy persons routine - I am sleeping later (or at least lying in bed later) on a morning - when I first left work I was trying to get up at 7ish every day to try and maintain some sense of normality.

Lately my body simply hasn't coped with that and I am now surfacing around 8ish 9ish - the other day I got up at 11am, had a bath, made a nest on the settee with a pile of throws (before I fell down) and slept all day, literally. I suspect that was an ME crash rather than the RA. The routine at the moment involves eating toast or something around midday, taking tramadol etc, pottering, putting away the washing up, catching up online and doing the washing if needed.
Then - back to a warm bed.

This little knackered body is really liking the warmth of the electric blanket, especially my kneesies, and I think this snooze time is helping me to have a few half-decent hours for the rest of the afternoon. If I don't actually sleep it is just as beneficial to simply lie in the warmth.

(Told you it was dull!). On a really good day I even - wait for it - walk to the corner shop and back. I know, tis a wild and wicked life I lead.....

For the last two years my Dr has told me to listen to my body, but the guilt of doing so little has over-ridden this sound advice until recently, when my body has given me little choice in the matter. Having an ME / RA crash is the most bizarre thing - it literally feels like someone has pulled the plug on what energy was there, it is like that feeling when you are about to faint. I can't fight it and have to just go with it, hence a nest on the settee as getting upstairs is impossible when it's that bad - these are the times I am very glad I live alone because I can just close my eyes and ignore everything.

I am also getting better at not planning 'crafty things' - eg the knickers I plan to make, the two dresses, the bags, the crows .... I have the ideas, the materials but not often the energy. That's OK - I am allowed to NOT do them until I am up to it. So at the moment I am (verrrrry slowly) clearing away the things I know I won't be tackling anytime soon, to make some nice space for when I DO feel up to it, if that makes any sense. Which it probably doesn't. The idea is to try and lessen the feeling of guilt and uselessness because I have not achieved (by achieved I think I often mean 'made / created') something that particular day, because the day/hour/5 minutes will come when I do make things and that will be fab.

I dunno, does this make any sense at all? Making things is such a big part of 'me' - to not make much anymore is a bugger, for wont of a better word.

Knitting happens quite a lot (hands willing), mainly because it is something I do sitting down in my cosy corner. Couch potato knitting. And of course knitting is (usually) soothing. Unless it's that time when I am pondering what to cast on next and what with and why can't I find A SINGLE BLOODY PATTERN I LIKE from the mountain that I have AND WHERE IS THE WOOL etc etc etc.

Today - today has been OK, maybe because the sun has been shining. The washing almost dried on the line, my body has co-operated quite well apart from the fibro in my neck, I haven't had to have any of my anti-nausea tablets, I am enjoying my knitting and I have thrown out some clutter from upstairs. That will do.

I hope today has been a good day for you, too.

High as a - well, even higher than that.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=MrIxH6DToXQ#!

I am absolutely hooked on this, I think it is incredible.

Hope to goodness nothing goes wrong - the feedback film is gobsmackingly clear, he looks so calm in his little pod.

I also love the photos of Endeavour being taken across the country to its resting place:

Mad.
Wonderfully mad.

Beautiful.
My favourite piccy has to be this one, for the sheer surreal aspect to it:

I wish I could copy some of the shots from inside the Stratos capsule, it's just - well, you get the idea.
Have a look, go on.


There, now you know one of my secret loves. Rockets, the shuttle, flight. Fab!

Chunky. Knickers.

In which some knitting actually gets finished.

health:
same old, same old. Had my scans done this Tuesday, nothing new to report. oh - the nodule on my right elbow needs looking at apparently, it is becoming more pronounced in the scans and is a sod when I am trying to get comfy in bed. I am back at hospital towards the end of the month, presumably to see if I am going to be part of the RoActemra trial.

Usual aches and pains, plus absolute exhaustion thrown in for good measure - I think being more tired than normal is the result of the Norovirus. I am doing a lot of snuggling in bed with my leccy blanket on, usually for a couple of hours early afternoon - even if I don't sleep my knees in particular are very grateful for the warmth and comfort.

But until I hear about this trial it's just a case of plodding on.

What's that you say - you want to hear about theFinished Knitting? Oh go on then.

 I am so so happy with this - tis a Christmas pressie for my daughter, she tried it on last week and I needed to redo the sleeves as she likes them really long. She rang my mum later on to say how fab the jumper is, so I am really happy.

Highly recommend this pattern, it is extremely quick and very easy, yet I think it looks much more complex than it is.
It is a James Brett pattern, in mega chunky wool. I would love one but I am too chunky as it is ....

Have also amlmost finished Christmas knitting gift #2, piccies to come asap.

Am typing with one eye on the window as it is blowing a gale and I have washing out - my knees don't want to do a sprint start to grab anything that flies off!

I am slowly but surely turning the living room into a REAL living room as opposed to a junk shop. Furniture has been moved (slowly, carefully, and with price paid the following day). Inside one cupboard I found a depressing sight:

Books, lots of books
How can books be depressing, I hear you think - easy. The majority of these are simply too heavy for my hands to hold. Bugger. And I know a Kindle would be a huge help, but I like BOOKS! REAL BOOKS! Pah.

Anyone fancy tidying my sewing table for me please? I have the urge to make myself some knickers.

Truly.

I love this pattern:

Love the vintage styling but even as a lover of larger pants, I suspect the pattern as it is would have the bow somewhere near my chin!
I plan to cut them down a tad - and if anyone thinks I am in danger of getting old before my time with granny pants, I am making them from skull fabric. So there.

I don't have an overlocker sadly, but am hoping I can still manage - I have knicker elastic aplenty, an assortment of fabric and a black teeshirt to chop up for - ahem - gussets.

PS the word 'panties' should be banned.

Never thought I would get the word 'gussets' into my blog. My life is now complete.

So watch this space for my knickers.... you have been warned.

Two things.

1) Norovirus is evil. Am still ill but nothing like it has been.

2) I really hope people are watching the Jimmy Savile documentary with open minds. To those who say it is disgusting and why didn't they say something when he was alive, there are several answers to that.
Fear. Self disgust. Successful grooming by a powerful man with very high up friends. Shame. A completely different social awareness. People are finding it extemely difficult to believe now - imagine how hard it would have been when he was at the peak of his popularity and fame?

Yes it is disgusting - but it is NOT the victims who are disgusting. I was about to type 'only one person is disgusting' but that isn't true. Too many people have lied for years about this, it is absolutely common knowledge not just here in Leeds. The 'stories' - reports, anecdotes, whatever you want to call them, so very many of them.

I won't go into more detail except to say this - these allegations are just the tip of a very big, deeply unpleasant iceberg.

I know who I believe, do you?

Toxic!

Well, Wednesday's hospital trip was rather impressive.

1) due for scans at 8.30am. Told wasn't booked in, but would do them anyway. Then sonographer said I didn't need them until November, that someone at RA clinic had bodged up, and sent me to my RA appointment.

2) consultant at RA clinic said I DID need them as it's the end of my first year on this trial and that I need to come back on Monday - at 8.30am again. Joy.

3) long talk with consultant, lots of proddy tests on my poor old bod. Consultant agrees with Doc that I also have fibro. Goes to talk to The Prof (the big boss).

4) The Prof appears and is fabulous as usual. Decides I would 'be fabulous' for a new trial, with infusions of Tociluzimab (Altizumab)(ProActemra) - a relatively new drug, very difficult to get on the NHS but available now via trials.

More on this to come, it is a VERY interesting and potentially very exciting drug for RA sufferers. My consultant - The Prof - is one of the top bods in the country / Europe / world for RA, and as it is a teaching hospital they have excellent access to trials.

5) I have the usual 8 phials of blood taken (literally), X-rays of feet and hands, weight (lots), height (little), waist (fat), hips (fatter), ANOTHER proddy test with a different nurse etc etc.

FIVE HOURS in the hospital, FIVE FEKKIN HOURS!

I left with an appointment for the damned scans on Monday, and will be getting an appointment for The Trial in a month, then one for a carpal tunnel injection into my other wrist asap, another one with Oc Therapy for night time gloves and soft splints for my hands.

Next time I think I will take a duvet, pillow and teddy. Bear, not lingerie.

To be eligible for the New Trial I have to have been on meths for at least a month - they have taken me off the injections (hurrah!) and put me back on tablets, but with strict orders to take the stronger anti-emetics regularly.
I had them on Thursday (takes Thursday's tablet total to something silly like 5 thousand), so far exhausted but OK.

Right - craftiness.
Things have progressed considerably since I took the following pics a couple of days ago-
this cardi for my daughter is now finished apart from buttons, which have been ordered.

The needles are blissful - Pavi needles, smooth but most importantly, light. And pretty.

I also started knitting a mega chunky cabled jumper for her - last night - and am already up to the armhole shaping on the front! This thing grows when I turn away, I am sure of it.

These little stitchery munchkins arrived so I have no reason other than utter ineptitude for messing up my next attempt at the crewel work - will have to rummage for some more substantial fabric tomorrow.

And I bought two of the new Louisa Harding booklets, which although a bit 'samey' (which is why I have not ordered this year's winter Kim Hargreaves, same old same old) still have some rather knittable patterns.

I particularly like this kimono-esque one, could be very flattering. There is also a lovely jumper in the other booklet but the photo I took is too blurry.

 

 

 

And I have many of these. And plans.

 

Right, that's enough for now, I am sure you are nodding off.

Enjoy the weekend x



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soggy.

I hope everyone is safe, and that the floods are keeping away - it looks seriously nasty on the news and my mum's garden is under water. We have agreed that it's not worth her trying to travel here tomorrow for my hospital appointments (she always comes through because she is the best mum ever), most of the trains etc are struggling to run.

So it looks like it will be my luvverly daughter picking me up on the way to the hospital - I have strict orders to feed her!

Health- not brilliant, but thankfully not the worst it has been. The neckpain and backpain seem to have made friends with my kneesies and hands, and are taking it in turns to play up and keep me away, as are the horrendous nightmares (which I suspect are linked to starting Amitrippy pills again). Hey ho.

But I have - slowly - very sloooooowly - been managing to Make Things. Or at least start to Make Things.

Go on, you may laugh - let's just say this is going in the bin and I am starting again when I get an embroidery hoop, different fabric and some sort of knowledge of what I am supposed to be doing. It looks like it was stitched by a gang of monkeys high on bath salts. Blind monkeys. With no arms.
Dearie me - in my defence, yer 'onour, I have never ever attempted anything like this before.
And looking at it maybe I never should ....

But the silly thing - I LOVED every second of it! Which is why I want to start again and try and do it properly, and have a good look online first to gather any tips. Chain stitch - fine, backstitch - fine. Satin stitch? SHOCKING.

Thankfully not everything I am making is this dire - the gorgeous dress of delights is coming on well, the body is finished and is languishing while I finish a cardi for my daughter (that makes it sound like she is a toddler!).

Considering it is in 4ply this flew - nice easy knitting, very relaxing on an evening infront of the telly, I really like how the shoulders have worked out -

and I think the squared neckline will be nice on. Maybe a touch too high for me but I am sure I can work something out there.
I have done about 8 crochet thingies, so only (ha) 72 to go .....

I was going to make the underskirt in cerise, but think it might be better in black with a bright pink petticoat underneath. No idea where I would wear it as I don't exactly have a wild social life but it makes me smile.

Aprt from this little lot, and the cardi (to be put away for Christmas so I am bound to lose it), I have been reading (which is totally dependent on my brain) - currently reading The Night Circus, and also Some Kind of Fairy Tale - quite enjoying both.

It's weird where the time goes - not long ago I was grateful for any time spare at the end of a working day, when planning, marking etc was finished - but now, when I pretty much have all day every day spare, I don't seem to get much done at all.

I know I am at home BECAUSE I am ill, and BECAUSE I am ill I therefore cannot do much etc etc etc , one long mad circle, but still it's a strange thing to think a day has gone past and I have achieved so little. I know I need to adjust what I class as 'achieving' now but it's changing the habits of a working lifetime and not easy.
For example - a normal day in The Old Life would have been leaving home at 7.15am, walks, buses, then a pretty strenuous (mentally and physically depending on how many restraints with the kids), usually stressful day, then staff meetings, then walks, buses, then the gym and a swim, then shopping - then another bus and sometimes home at around 7pm+. And I loved it.

Now I feel chuffed if I manage to hoover, or have a bath, or as today - pull a pair of tights on and lace my shoes!

Doesn't quite compare does it.

And I cannot even do crewel work! Buggerit!

That's about it, hospital tomorrow - early, for scans then to see the consultant and the RA nurse etc etc. Usually knockes me sideways, so 'going to the hospital' will be my achievement for the day!

Hope all's well.