Extremes.

Piccies. I have them.
Many many piccies.

I let PSidney have a scamper on the settee next to me, with his favourite cover down. I also gave him a mirror and some toys, to stop him getting bored.

Here's me thinking that was a Good Thing to do.  Sid seemed to think differently.

See - who is that Sid? Go and have a look.

Nope. KNITTING! KNITTING! KNITTING! FOOD!
Little scamp. He was straight through one strandbefore I got it out of his mouth. One strand that happened to be attached to some Christmas pressie knitting. Sid!

This is how many of the photos came out. This gives the impression that Sid moves quickly -do not be fooled. He moves like a slug, unless there is lettuce on offer in which case it's warp factor 73.

Look Sid! A piggy in the mirror! Look!

Huh.

Eat it! Knitting bag owl! Eat it!
Cheeky! Lovely Amber made me that owl! Gerrof.

So I shoved said knitting bag out of sight beside me:

SID!!

Waddididooooooo?

I love (and at the same time feel sad) how whiskery old he is looking in these photos. He isn't on top form and hasn't been for quite a while - he doesn't seem to be in pain anywhere and is eating and drinking, just not as sparky as he once was. When I get him out all he wants to do is eat, be cuddled, lick my hand and go to sleep. I know how he feels. Minus the hand-licking bit.
Lovely little fatty.

Knitting is happening, on and off. More off than on because of my hands. In a way I will be glad when this drugs trial ends because I can then have treatment on my hands (not allowed at the moment as it would skew the results); they could both do with carpal tunnel operations, so hopefully in the new year.
Talking of which, not much RA improvement sadly, if anything things have become a bit worse because of the side effects of this new drug. My hospital-friend, who started on the same day as me (I was the first person on this trial, J started 5 minutes after me) has had definite improvement, and is delighted (and I am thrilled for her, she is so lovely). So hopefully this drug is going to be a big boost for many, without the horrible chemo-side effects of methotrexate.

Knitting.

This is newish - on the way asap as a pattern. I have given up on making deadlines for myself, life with RA and ME isn't deadline friendly. But it's almost there. Nothing earth shattering, but I like it.
Plus there is this:

 from last year and still not written up. Maybe next Christmas? 2031? Yes?

Hope any remaining readers are well.
Keep warm.

Well hello there, you little minx you.

Haven't seen you for a while - yes YOU,you luvverly thing you.
Waddya mean it's my fault for never posting? Sigh.
In other words I seemed to vanish for a while.

The puddytat- no idea whose it is,  but it is so friendly! Just like dafty Peter from over the road , remember him? Mr Handsome who wanders into anyone's house and makes himself at home -  the old bloke over the road said he came down one morning and found Peter fast asleep in his armchair, and his own cat was just ignoring everything!

Hello Peter.
Pretty black and white cat wandered into the house, sat down and had a wash then did that ' I am soooo hungry and look how sweet I am and did I say I was hungry?' thing, rubbing against my legs.
Loads of  cats in this little street, but these two are the friendliest.

So, Sulks, what ever have you been up to then?  Anything exciting?
Erm.
Nope.
Health issues still dominate life /  lack of social life etc. Still  plodding to hospital every 4 weeks for  the drug trial infusion, still seeming to develop new side effects. On the Thursday just gone the consultant double checked all my results and announced 'You have actually got worse since we started!', which wasn't quite what I wanted to hear.
My lovely nurse reassured me that there were plenty of other things to try now I am on biologics. Moving into a bungalow and getting a mobility scooter has been discussed but I really do NOT want to take that step (no pun intended) for a long time. I really like this ridiculously tiny house.

Weekly drug trial Methotrexate. Very tightly monitored; lots of paperwork, return all bottles etc etc. 'Tis a double blind test to see if the new drug works as efficiently WITHOUT the dreaded meths. 6 of these brown horse pills every week.
Spot the mistake above?
Come on, there are only 3 of us on this trial on a given day, 15 in  total. It takes over 4 hours for the infusion and medical checks. And you still cannot count!
Plus the pills come in impossible bottles - I have to use a knife to get into them, another patient said she has to get her son to open them. Hey, you people with fucked up hands! Let's have a bit of fun and see you try to open these little bombproof buggers!

This is the pitiful face of a not-very-well piggy. Poor Sid, definitely not his usual dafty self lately. He hasn't any sore spots (he lets me manhandle him easily), but this sums up what he was like for a few weeks. Thankfully he seems to be a bit perkier at the moment, and snuggled with me last  night singing away to himself whilst trying to shove lettuce andgrapes into his mouth as fast as possible.

Look at those piggylips! Awwwwwwwww. I love Sidney.
Ooooh - Sid's Aunty Pat and Aunty Nimbii bought him a fab present, look!

Knitting has been happening, designing is ongoing, energy  is needed.
Sewing has not happened despite the urge (hands just too painful).
Painting has been tentatively started.
Much loved family member who is seriously ill is doing much better,which is incredible and too wonderful for words. None of us are under any delusions and take one day at a time, but to know things are more bearable lately is enough for now.
I have some other health worries at the mo, waiting for an 'urgent' referral. Whatever the results we will deal with it. I should probably be more worried than I am, but amshoving itto the back of my mind,  most of the time.

I did tell the hospital Dr I was going to go home and eat chocolate, and that if I wasn't in a diabetic coma by midnight summat was wrong! Considering it's mostly my hands and knees that are affected  that poor Doc has seen far too many of my bodily parts.

Right, that's it for now.
I have realised, whilst typing this drivel, that I do enjoy blogging - I  am a visual person, and being able to add piccies to my mumblings is good for me. I am not into artyfarty journalling despite several attempts but this works, sort of.

Toodles.

If it involves a bra and proper clothing it ain't going to happen.

For someone with a ridiculoualy (yet strangely pleasant) dull life there seems quite a bit to report.

Things are / have been happening. Some good, some indifferent, some not good at all. Such is life. More on the not so good another day, maybe. 'Tis scrawled in my diary but maybe won't make it to blogland. Let's just leave it at 'not good at all' for now.

Health is iffy, have had a really bad RA flare, probably the worst my right knee has ever been. Nasty. My left hand decided to join in to the extent all knitty things came to a halt. Pah. But today things feel easier - the flare up has left me with an all day headache and I am wiped out.
I haven't been prone to headaches since I was a teenager, thankfully, but asked mum if she remembered this whole cycle of pain, really bad pain, less pain, headache, shattered before (as in had I mentioned going through it recently) and she agreed. This deffo seems to be the way my flare ups work, and I am glad I am getting better  at recognising them for what they are.

Last month was the first time that my bloods / DAS had improved, albeit slightly, will see what next weeks' results say.

Anyway.
Isn't the sun lovely?

This is why us Brits are obsessed with the weather; it is  bonkers. Literally four seasons in one day. Sometimes in one hour. But I wouldn't swap it for anything else (well that's a lie. I would happily swap it for the warm days we have had lately, constantly, with rain in the night. We need the rain to keep this green and pleasant land green).

Obviously I am in the teeny tiny garden as often aspossible. Partly to try and get the sun on this godawful rash that I have as a side effect of the Tocilizumab (RoActemra). It is horrid, but painless. I am very freckly so that might disguise  the spots  a bit. Ok,it won't, I know but what the hell.

Ipotted up some strawberry plants - yes, yours are probably onto their seventh crop of  the summer by  now but this is Yorkshire. We are ages behind some other places,and things are only just budding. So far (in ten years) the record crop has been three - count them, THREE - strawbs. So anything above that will be a bonus.

 My sweet peas are looking better than usual (possibly because these were Sarah Raven seeds, more expensive)(not seeds to grow Sarah Raven).
So far very short likeme, but I think these were titchy plants anyway - they are much bushier than usual. Fingers crossed that they flower.

I potted up 21 of the cutest, diddiest, teenytiniest geraniums yesterday - look! Diddy!

Pixie plants! How cute are those!
I also have some diddy 'other' plants (ie can't remember off hand what they are) to pot up, but handies say do it another day please.

I hobbled over the road to collect some Elder flowers today, to make some cordial. My walking stick was perfect for pulling branches down to stumpy person height:

They have had two good rinses in water and vinegar, so I will rinse again tonight then set them to steep in sugar and water. I learned two things doing this.

1) the locals are completely used to my ways. Lady Who Walks Dogs asked what Iwas dyeing.
2) if one gathers Elderflowers whilst wearing a long black silky dress, one not only probably looks rather daft, but one gets ones self covered in pollen:

One is silly.

Knitting? Yes, in between bouts of useless hands there has been some.
This is happening:

but not saying what it is yet. Partly because it might all go tits up.

I finally got the March square finished and online:

Available on Ravelry, and I will add it to the side-bar of this blog after tea. Might even get April done before the end of June.....

Right,tea time.
Toodles.

Hurrah for burnt bosoms!

That's more like it.
Sunshine.
Loads of the stuff.
Smiling people,  very dodgy 'summer' dress sense, the smell of sun cream and a corner shop freezer crammed with giant ice pops.
Bliss!

Not only was it sunny today but it was downright WARM. 20C, not bad at all thank you.
Fabulous!

I still have this horrible rash from the Tocilizumab, so I am hoping that the sunshine will help.
That's my excuse (if one were needed) for afternoons in the sun.

All of a sudden everything seems to be blooming and sprouting at once. These gorgeous poppies are from seeds my mum gave me, collected from her garden, They are stunning, and look! Do you also remember the way poppy heads bend from your  childhood?

I remember peeling them open to look at the petals curled inside (naughty me).
Isn't it funny what obscure things remind you of being a bairn?

Today I doped myself up with Piriton, propped my bad back up with cushions on the bench, had an illicit glass of Pimms (oh blimey, the new version is delicious!)  , read for a while and knitted for a while.

PSidney says he can read perfectly well and would I please turn the pages a bit faster.

Why yes I AM  we ARE reading a book that includes a Princess, a scorpion and  a Quest.
And Sid has suncream for his ears, bless him. How I love thee, Sidders.

And knitting a jacket for a wabbit.

Lovely Egyptian cotton, in one of my favourite bags. Not one I made (the shame of it), slightly larger than the ones I make, and  look at it!

Brilliant!
I bought a few of these in the sales in January, the only snag is that they don't have wrist straps and are definitely a pain to carry anywhere, especially as I always need my walking stick.

The other one I have is this:

They are from Kate Garey. The jewellery is worth a look too, I have my eye on the bluetit necklace.

This might just flower this year. Might.

Look at  the pansies,they are just beautiful.

The little things in  life, always look for the little things.

And look - it only took me 10 months to take  piccies. I really like how this looks,and it was a fun knit if a little boring by the end.

Venomous-Tentacula, free on Ravelry.

And that's it for now.
I have the urge to paint, and this arrived the other day - yes that is me reflected in it, and yes I DO have chubby little arms!

Toodles for now, enjoy the sun!

Twice. In one week.

Blog posts, dunno what you dirty souls were thinking ....

I have a very happy, VERY farty piggy. I managed to walk half way to the park yesterday (quite frustrating  not to make  it the whole way, but my  knees said NO. Who am I to argue. I gathered a bag of greenery for PSidney,  washed it thoroughly and by hell he is enjoying it!
I think he ate himself into a stupor last night.

I also sat  in the garden, in the rain, sketching  a (pretty poor) picture of the remaining orange tulips.

Ooooh! Hello tootsies!
I have called it 'A Ten Year Old Could Draw Better!', and might add a photo when it is finished. It isn't  good, but any - any! - sketching is brilliant for me mentally because it means an hour or so with functional fingers. Modom.
They are very swollen, but not as painful as they have been. The pins and needles carpal tunnel is a sod still, especially in the left  hand, but I am not allowed to have anything done to it whilst on the RoActemra trial. A bit of a sod really,  it needs  operating on.

The  trial? You want to know how it's going?  No? Well skip this bit then.
I do think there is a bit of improvement this time, I hope so as this month is the decider for any further infusions.  I go back on the 30th. I am exhausted (but have not been sleeping, I haven't had a sleeping tablet for two weeks and although I amrelieved to find I can come off them easily when I need to, my sleep is back to its usual 'nod off at about 2am, wake up at 4am' routine. Not enough.

I had my tablets delivered today so will have a sleeping tab tonight and see if I get a bit more snoozation.
The main sideeffect at the  moment is a huge rash, I have had it across the tops of my arms since I started the drug, but blimey its pretty grim at the moment. Itchy too.  I keep reminding myself 'better knees, better hands' and try to ignore them. Maybe I could play dot to dot with them?

The garden is confused, as I think we all are. Two days of glorious weather, then a week of grey. Frost. HAILSTONES. Gale force winds.

The tree finally blossomed, a month later than usual and that seems to be the same delay for  most of my plants.

I can smell this half way down the street (OK, in fairness it is a very short street). It's just passed its best and has started dropping, clouds of blossom confetti  into  the street.

I had to resort to slug pellets, we are infested again. Bloody horrible things. Die.
They got to the marigolds, but the cabbages and lettuce might survive. They started in  the greenhouse. Again, a good month or more behind.

Ignore the horrible carpet (my landlord let me choose everything except the carpets - apparently this is neutral! I am going to ask if I can recarpet, its been down for the ten years I have been here and is more grotty by the day).
But look at Sid! I can section off a third of the room for him to scamper in (also ignore strategic placing of various things to block off wires and wool). Sadly I forgot my painting stuff was behind the chair and he commented  on my talents by piddling on it.
Thanks.
His exercise regime is along the lines of I throw bits of lettuce, Sid pootles off after it, eats,  comes to  the grill and stares at me. Repeat.

I am knitting a Thing. In black. More on that later.

Before I pootle of in a PSidney Stylie, anyone want to buy all these books for £40?

 

 

Toodles.

Smile. Mostly garden stuff. Might be boring. Mention of boobs.

There has been sun, sort of. I slept through most of it, but the garden enjoyed it.

Look!

This is the time when I start to wonder what the hell I actually planted - those layers upon layers of bulbs are all coming through in a mass of pert and perky buds  (modom).

The pansies are from several years ago and make it through every winter.

Ditto the hyacinth - there are  a couple more in bud, this one is next to the doorstep and smells so good. That isn't rain, it's watering can water - due to rain tomorrow though.

I love these tattery, multi layered daffs too, again I think these were cheapo bulbs from Wilko many years ago.

How pretty!
Hmmmmm..... I have just noticed there are no  piiiiink flowers yet, that needs rectifying asap.

What about these! Fabulous, these are new - so so pretty. They are very stumpy, like yours truly, but the colours  are so pretty. The softest creamy yellow tinged with a pinky red.

A deep rich egg yolk yellow inside, and those leaves! Deeply variegated with an almost purple colour. There look to  be maybe 3 more yet to flower.

I have many shells scattered in various pots, just because. It makes me smile when the buds start coming through and liiiiiifting the shells into the air!

Nature.
Luvverly.
Innit.

He really needs some googly eyes glueing on.

What else?
Health - not great. Still waiting for the neck  x-ray results, two weeks and counting. By hell it hurts.
Amazing how much we take something like a neck for granted until it goes wrong, then you understand just how much you use it! Grrrrrrr.

Small Bob went with me for the x-rays, and managed the good old tricky hospital gown with decidedly more aplomb than me.

I got stuck.
Completely and utterly stuck.
The more I tugged the tighter the knot became.
Reaching behind my neck is NOT the best thing with knackered hands, fingers and neck.
Summoning a nurse? Noooooooo. Stubborn, thassme.

Aha! Brainwave - tiny scissors in knitting bag, can snip through the tie.
Pah. Knitting bag is with mum in waiting area.
Tug. Tighter. Grrrrr.

I ended up taking  my specs off and squeeeeeeEEEEEzing the gown over my nose, stuffed my bra in my handbag (there is nothing more flippin' annoying than fastening a bra when you have RA), pulled my teeshirt on, arranged my shawl to cover any droopy boobness  and  excited, with a red face and very ruffled hair.

Pure class, that's me.

May that image haunt you ;-)

I lost another tooth last night, that's the second since  starting the RoActemra infusions. Add to losing my toe nail (bork, sorry) - I am convinced it is attacking my calcium levels. Or vitamin D.
So I ended up with raging toothache last night which didn't help my already miserable grumpyarse mood. It has eased a bit (thank you Tramadol) but I have a sore tongue from the sharp bits left.

Best part?
I am not allowed dental work unless absolutely essentail because of the drugs - risk of infection, crap  immune system and very slow healing.
Hey ho.

Bye for now,
stumpy toothless nail-less grumpy pink person.