Onwards. Because the alternative ......

Things continue to be less than fabulous here - serious illness in the family and it is heartbreaking.

But also private, so bear with me.

This has been happening (when I am awake, so damned tired lately).
Nice simple skirt pattern in there, that I think will be very wearabubble over Autumn. Autumn, shudder. Stay summer stay.

With skulls.

Also a very nice Vogue pattern, but it will probably join the mini mountain of 'love but hands cannot cut out' patterns (knees  and back protest too).

NOT in those colours.

Hospital went well, finger is healed so the infusion had the go-ahead. Joy. I am possibly not in as much constant pain as I have been - had to wait ages for a taxi yesterday as it's Eid (no  drivers) and my poor knee was swollen and agony when I got home. The exhaustion side is a sod at the moment, but I suspect worry about family is partly to blame.

I am following dr's orders to  listen to my body, get fresh air, not much direct sun etc etc. The bench in the tiny garden is my little bit of calm and beauty - I know it isn't much, but I love it. I sit outside for a while nearly every day, with a book or Sid or just me. The lady who walks dogs always waves and says hello, as does blokie over the road. Peter usually comes to visit:

and offered to help me bring the washing in.

OI! Piggies only, not Peters!

Knitting is sort of happening:

more of that particular bit of knitting to come soon.

I don't seem to have done much knitting at all really, so am aiming to make a shawl with this fabulous wool sent several years ago from a lovely friend.

I keep taking knitting with me when it's hospital day but anything on straights is useless because of the  infusion -  everytime I bend my arm I set the alarm off that says the drug isn't going in. Ooops.

 

That's it really for now, so have some garden piccies -  the green bean plants are insane! I thought I was going to end up with one,  five foot  bean but the tiny baby ones have just started to grow.

 

 

 

Darth Vader of Yorkshire. Betcha jealous.

I am croaky as a croaky thing on croaky day in croaky town.
Tis either hayfever or a cough, whichever it is it can bog off. Please.

A post of many piccies and few words, am so tired.

Hospital last week, went as well as it can do but next one is the biggy - if there is no improvement that is it, finito. As my DAS (disease activity score) had gone UP quite a bit last week (the previous one was the first that had shown slight signs of improvement) nobody is very optimistic.

I had a long chat with my nurse and then with (thankfully the excellent dr and not  the one who looks stoned) the consultant.When I was struggling with the 'other' family of drugs, the DMARDs, I had reached the point where there was only one option left, and it was one I didn't really want (gold injections into ones bum). Thankfully the Prof. then managed to get me onto this current trial.
I am concerned that same scenario will happen with the biologics, but was reassured that my 'scores' are bad enough to go onto another biologic, should they decide to stop  this trial. That  of course means the risk of another set of side effects and waiting - as I said at hopical it has been over 2 years  of constant new drug / side effects / new drug. The neck x-rays from last month show early RA in my neck, so they want to keep an eye on that and my painful back. Yippee.

Soooooo....apart from health.

Sunshine, isn't it just wondrous stuff!?
Heat! Proper sunshine with HEAT! And light! And blue skies!

Sulky kitten came round the other day and cleared all one side of the garden to make it nicer for me to sit in, and ordered some gravel courtesy of mum as there are slightly bare patches appearing. I have a lovely family.
We turned a tatty corner into this:

The painted bit of fence looks  nice against the red brick of the house. Yes it is tiny, yes it is still a bit tatty but I really like it. The plants are on part of a wine cabinet I  threw out, laid on its side.

I turned a manky £1 planter into something half decent, for a giant yukka I was given via Freegle, piccies to come. Nothing exciting, but it looks fine.
I get the sitty down jobs to try and rest my bod. I am 93 dontcha  know.

The blossom tree went from utterly bare to this in the space of 5 days:

probably partly to blame for the cough but it is so pretty and smells so fabulous that I couldn't care less. I love this tree so much every year, it is the only one in the street. A swine when it starts to drop but worth it.
Thank you Mother Nature.

Knitting  has happened, I finished this jumper (from Knit to Flatter by Amy Herzog, more on that book to come). Good fun to knit, just needs a bit of a press (ie cheats blocking) then will see what it  is like on. Of course I haven't tried it on as I seamed / knit it, what are you on  about??! That's tantamount to swatching!

Shudder.

I also washed some material - other folk may have crisp white cottons on their washing line. I have skulls.

Destined to become a simple 3/4 circular skirt, which I think will be a useful bit of clothing over summer with black tee shirts and sandals.
It is too heavy for a dress, but might work as part of something else (that's vague!). I have the urge to sew and have been slowly -very slooooowly - reorganising the living room to make my sewing area (ie the table) more functional. And tidier.

Ooooh- I did a bit  of stitchery yesterday too, for cushion covers, must get piccies.
My hands must be improving even a little bit because I managed maybe 15 minutes of stitching yesterday, which is more than I can usually even think of.

I will leave you with this little charmer, who is not as brave or as fabulous as Charlie the robin, but who makes me smile. He (?) hops lower and lower in the tree, then comes closer and closer. Then hops onto the plant pot next to my feet, stares at me, realises what he has done and flies to the tree again!
Repeat many times.
Absolutely lovely.

Good day to you, and you and you.

Sorry. That is not what's happening here. Oh dearie me no.

That was taken last year, almost exactly to the day.
Now?
Slightly different!

Yesterday.

There are tiny buds, but nothing else at all - I thought I was remembering it all wrong until I checked last year's photos - blossom. Heat, Sunshine. Freckles.
Pah.
More like frostbite this year.

Last year:

This year:

Poor tree!

Even the daffs daren't flower - the leetle tiny ones are open and look lovely, and a crocus - but the daffs and tulips refuse.

Lovely.

I risked planting some seeds yesterday, only a few types and only half a packet of each, just in case. I don't think we are due any vast improvement in the weather in the next week or two.

I found an excellent deal on Sarah Raven seeds, usually very good quality - these were all 99p per packet.
Sarah Raven

Sunflowers, sweet peas, something I cannot remember .... loads more to plant and I bought some more seed trays today.
I do love my teeny tiny greenhouse (it's one of those plastic things from Wilko, it does the jpb and takes up very little room).


What else?
Knitting is happening as and when hands allow, I will take some piccies when I remember. I have an almost finished hat, an almost finished jacket and - erm - lots of other almost finished things.

At the moment I am making 'A Thing'. Hand sewn, as I find that easier than bending over the machine (dreadful neck pain).

Linen.

Fur.

This particular part is about half finished - no rush.
More to come .....

Before I pootle off to check my tea (quinoa salad with crushed new potatoes) please say hello to my new friend.

Hello, Small Bob.

Hurrah for piccies!

That's better. I hadn't realised just how monochrome these photos were - but thinking back they are probably accurate, the sky was laden with snow.

I am very delighted because I have DONE SOMETHING this week!
Over on Ravelry, the delightfully bonkers lot in The Chocolate Teapot group are braving a knitalong, making a throw a month at a time (a square at a time? I think you know what I mean).

Not only did I manage to knock a pattern together BUT also, eventually (after rather a lot of muttering, chocolate, muttering and chocolate) managed to write, chart and publish the pattern.

Go me!
It is for this:

Made from aran weight, 5mm needles, but of course can be made using any weight wool although then the size of the squares will vary. It is much easier than it looks (unless it looks easy, in which case it's pretty much as it looks!), and has a moss stitch border. It is charted and written, and hopefully makes sense.
Available here:
january-teapot-square
(hopefully). Will also try to link it to this blog.

I have a cardi pattern almost ready to launch too, just a couple of bits to tweak, and a pair of fingerless mitts lined up.
It feels damned good to be doing something, getting this dullard brain to start working again. I can only do it in fits and starts, but am getting better at making the most of the on hour here and there when my hands work.

I hardly dare say it out loud, but they don't feel quite as painful today. Still very swollen, but I can bear to rub cream into them which I certainly can't when they are really bad. I would cross my fingers but that might be pushing my luck!

Why yes they ARE pirate pants. I keep meaning to try making underwear (I refuse to call them PANTIES), and suspect that these will remain on the table for weeks before making their way, unmade, back into the bag. But I started. So I might continue.

Still photo-less.

Grrrrrr to it.

Words will have to do.

I have done some sewing. Only two poxy rows of ziggyzaggy, ready to pop a zip in. But to anyone who has been in this godforsaken land of inertia, you might just understand the importance of this.

There is a world of difference between wanting to sew, and actually getting the machine out, rigging it up, sorting the bits you plan to sew. A whole world that can seem (and in fact BE) insurmountable when you are utterly drained. The mind is willing but the body is broken, or vice versa. It is bloody frustrating!

I learned to sew before I was taught knitting and crochet; I have photos of me with my 6th birthday gift, a lovely sewing box with drawers and wotnot filled with threads, needles, scissors. I absolutely LOVED that box! I also had one of those toy sewing machines that were forever breaking / knotting the threads / breaking. My mum did a lot of sewing; one year my sis and I received lovely large dolls for Christmas, each with an amazing set of hand sewn clothes. Red velvet capes edged in lace, silvery ball gowns. I remember mum sewing when we went to bed, set up in the little bedroom which later became my own room.

As I got older mum taught me to make pencil skirts (what can I say, EVERYONE had pencil skirts!), blouses etc. My beloved nan used to cut down my gag's old coats to make new coats for my mum and my aunty when they were little girls, so crafty things run in the blood.

I used to sew for a living when my daughter was little - I sewed for several shops, did alterations from home, then branched out into ballgowns (huge demand for these as I lived in hunt ball territory)(yes, personal politics take second place to ethics when one is skint), the occasional wedding dress and curtains galore. My dining room became a permanent sewing room with rails and rolls of fabric, absolute bliss. I trained as a pattern cutter many (many) moons ago at art college, and loved speading out huge sheets of pattern paper and making it all up as I went.

So going from that to not even having the energy to cut out a pattern (or not having the physical ability, I can't cut out on the floor anymore or my knees will have me up before a tribunal for unfair suffering) has been hard.

I rang mum the other day to tell her I had sewn two lines - and she completely understood what this meant to me.

I am hoping to make it across the living room to the table today (I spent yesterday asleep until 4pm!) and actually SEW that damned zip in, rather than thinking about it. I have two cushion cover front all knitted up, ready to be backed - wish me luck!

Chunky. Knickers.

In which some knitting actually gets finished.

health:
same old, same old. Had my scans done this Tuesday, nothing new to report. oh - the nodule on my right elbow needs looking at apparently, it is becoming more pronounced in the scans and is a sod when I am trying to get comfy in bed. I am back at hospital towards the end of the month, presumably to see if I am going to be part of the RoActemra trial.

Usual aches and pains, plus absolute exhaustion thrown in for good measure - I think being more tired than normal is the result of the Norovirus. I am doing a lot of snuggling in bed with my leccy blanket on, usually for a couple of hours early afternoon - even if I don't sleep my knees in particular are very grateful for the warmth and comfort.

But until I hear about this trial it's just a case of plodding on.

What's that you say - you want to hear about theFinished Knitting? Oh go on then.

 I am so so happy with this - tis a Christmas pressie for my daughter, she tried it on last week and I needed to redo the sleeves as she likes them really long. She rang my mum later on to say how fab the jumper is, so I am really happy.

Highly recommend this pattern, it is extremely quick and very easy, yet I think it looks much more complex than it is.
It is a James Brett pattern, in mega chunky wool. I would love one but I am too chunky as it is ....

Have also amlmost finished Christmas knitting gift #2, piccies to come asap.

Am typing with one eye on the window as it is blowing a gale and I have washing out - my knees don't want to do a sprint start to grab anything that flies off!

I am slowly but surely turning the living room into a REAL living room as opposed to a junk shop. Furniture has been moved (slowly, carefully, and with price paid the following day). Inside one cupboard I found a depressing sight:

Books, lots of books
How can books be depressing, I hear you think - easy. The majority of these are simply too heavy for my hands to hold. Bugger. And I know a Kindle would be a huge help, but I like BOOKS! REAL BOOKS! Pah.

Anyone fancy tidying my sewing table for me please? I have the urge to make myself some knickers.

Truly.

I love this pattern:

Love the vintage styling but even as a lover of larger pants, I suspect the pattern as it is would have the bow somewhere near my chin!
I plan to cut them down a tad - and if anyone thinks I am in danger of getting old before my time with granny pants, I am making them from skull fabric. So there.

I don't have an overlocker sadly, but am hoping I can still manage - I have knicker elastic aplenty, an assortment of fabric and a black teeshirt to chop up for - ahem - gussets.

PS the word 'panties' should be banned.

Never thought I would get the word 'gussets' into my blog. My life is now complete.

So watch this space for my knickers.... you have been warned.

Brrrrrrr!

I am so cold! Currently snuggled into my dressing gown, on top of my clothes, and socks. Brrrrrrr.

Firstly a quick word about why I am now moderating comments - a certain silly person seems to think I am perfectly fit for work and that I need reporting to the DWP for pulling a con, and has been sending increasingly bizarre messages. Obviously I would much rather be living on the breadline rather than back in my beloved career where I eared a pretty decent wage ... They don't bother me in the slightest but are not the sort of thing anyone else needs to read, hence moderating them.

Moving on.

Health isn't brilliant. I started on the methotrexate injections again two weeks ago, have done two of them at home and although I am not at all happy about putting that damned yellow poison into my system I do hope it will do some good this time round. Last time they increased the dose every week to get me to the maximum asap and I was pretty ill with it, so this time it is a 10ml dose for the next few weeks then up very slowly and carefully monitored.

I have plenty of anti-emetics for the side effects and the name of another to ask for at the drs if needed. I stayed home from Thursday to Thursday this last week, seemed to be one thing after another (upset tum, exhaustion, horrendous nights etc). It's just a case of taking each day as it comes.

Several times I have eaten a plate of beige.

As innocuous as possible (the cheese scones are home made, gluten free and not too bad at all).

Not a huge lot of craftiness has been happening. I had the most fabulous weekend in the Lakes, surrounded by loving, genuine, kind people. Couldn't have been any better.

I am plodding through a jacket I have loved since seeing the pattern on Ravelry but it has to be the most poorly written pattern ever. Riddled with mistakes, even down to mixing up the left and right. I am determined to finish it but am pretty much making it up as I go now.

Piccies to come unless I set fire to it / throw it to the wolves.

I bought this recently, there are a couple of dresses and a nice top I hope to make at some point.

I also bought the pattern for this rather lovely dress:

Spotted on Roobedoo's blog, the pattern is from here: http://tessuti.blogspot.com.au/2012/08/lily-linen-dress-pattern-available-now.htmltessuti.
I spotted some nice black (what else) silky fabric on the market, will pop back next week maybe and get it. I think a couple of these will be very handy for the winter, especially as they just pull on over the head so no tricky zips or buttons for sore fingers to cope with. I quite fancy a polka dot version too ...

The garden is doing OK despite this sort of 'summer' weather:

(fir cone, not floating poo)
There was a lightning strike a couple of miles down from here during this storm, it blew up a tree!

But my beloved plants have done their funky thing. My favourite at the moment is this wonderful hydrangea which goes from an acid green to pure white and then to pink tinges.

Highly recommend. I just spotted it in the new Autumn catalogue from Sarah Raven here: hydrangea-paniculata-limelight. Not cheap (I got this one when it was on offer) but so pretty.

Right, that's about it for today. I hope anyone reading is well.
Happy weekend.

Wotnots.

Ironic isn't it that one of the few times I have actually DONE THINGS, BEEN PLACE and MADE THINGS, I have been lacking the bloomin energy to blog about them!

Law of the sod.

Right - going places. I had a really spelndid afternoon with two luvverly friends. I love Ravelry - people who are online friends are rapidly becoming 'real', have met several times, have gone out for the day with, giggled with, talked with friends. Real Friends.

I spend most of my Rav time in one specific group, pretty much full of incredible kindness, LOADS of laughter and genuine friends. Last week three of us had an Out, which in itself is a big deal for me (I tend to avoid anything outy partly because my house is a shambles and it embarrasses me and also because of The Failing Body health issues).

But no, an Out was had and a jolly fine Out it was too.

We went here and we did this:

Ten minutes drive, I love this place. Kirkstall Abbey, it is stunning. Have had several pinics over the year by the river, and a wander a few times. It is definitely worth a visit if you are ever in the area.
Over the road is a rather decent coffee shop - a bit full of screechy children (why do people let their kids do that high pitched ear piercing shriek over and over again??) but very beautiful.
They were setting up a private birthday party in the adjoining room which looked rather pretty.
Clean plates are always a good sign.

But the higlight of a day filled with history and heritage?
The kids dressing up box of course!

(Ignore swollen handies)(and general chubbiness)(ah what the hell, I was happy!).

Lots of giggling. Lots!

My poor body really struggled for a few days afterwards, my legs and knees particularly and then (possibly due to the tiredness) my hands decided to join in and I had a good old RA flare up. I still cannot knit more than two or three rows which is damned frustrating. I do have a lot of frustrations but will air those another day.

But worth it mentally to get some air. Fresh air and friendship, excellent combination.

(piccies look ok I think, am hoping a friend's hubster can sort my best camera out over the weekend)

I have managed some Making of nThings. I cannot knit much but I am able to sew a bit, thankfully (not totally sure why that works but glad it does).
I finished this young lady for a certain woolly event this weekend.

And must say I am delighted with her.

I also made this cheery little chap for a recent swap, so I am pleased to have something to show for my time lately.
I certainly don't have a tidy house!

Bye for now

from me and the fishy fella